I'm writing this letter to tell you goodbye. More specifically, I'm writing this letter to the ruler of this present world; I want you to know that we're through. Satan, I've bought into your empty promises for far too long. All of the glitz & glamor that you so proudly display is nothing but a masquerade that weakly veils the true pain that you are so full of. All these years you have tried to seduce me into your way of thinking, & guess what? You succeeded...for a while. Your whispers led me to believe that I could gain happiness through material things. I became full of greed & grew jealous of what others had; so I hoarded my own money for no other purpose but to spend it on myself. Selfish envy infiltrated my life & my dissatisfaction was apparent. I wanted more! You knew this. You were well aware of the emptiness that my heart held. Happiness is not found in things, of this I was sure. But where then? You had an answer to this as well. Every waif of a model & stick thin body of a celebrity screamed your answer to me: You are not good enough as you are!! You will never achieve happiness until you attain an acceptable standard of beauty! This made me hate myself. So I decided that starvation was the answer. My body was obviously disgusting by the world's standards, why shouldn't I change it? I need to fit in! I need happiness! You were so close to achieving your goal of destroying me. I can almost imagine your face twisted into an evil grin of victory. You had succeeded in turning me focus so wholly on myself that I was totally unable to accomplish anything for the kingdom of God. In fact, I was not only abusing my body; God's temple, but I was also incredibly angry with my Maker. how could God have done such a horrible job in creating my body? Depression & inferiority became deeply rooted in my life. If only someone truly loved me! If only someone could reassure me that I wasn't completely unattractive. I only there was that one person who could sooth my irrational fears.
I gotta hand it to you Satan: Once again you & your worldly influences had an immediate answer for me. A boyfriend! You've seen the movies; everyone that has a boyfriend is perfectly happy. A prince charming will fix all of your troubles! I believed it, & I succeeded in finding myself a guy. A great guy who would take care of me, value my feelings, & fix my life? No. He called me beautiful, he went through some of the motions that are expected of a boyfriend. He said the right things, but he took so much. Satan, this lie hurt me deeply. I thought he cared, & I began to trust this man that I thought would make things better. But he failed because he only cared about his own desires. We were both selfish & we both got hurt. If I had made the choice that you offered me, I could have destroyed my life in that relationship, but it didn't happen! Satan, your grand scheme that you had been weaving for years was about to collapse. You know the rest of the story; you hate this part of the story. It was exactly this time last year when a real prince charming came into my life. He showed me the saving power of my salvation. My salvation that I had neglected for so long while I was chasing after your worthless lies. This Prince revealed to me the distinction between His Father's pure, beautiful promises, & the filthiness of your destructive lies. His name is Jesus Christ. Yeah, go ahead Satan, hide yourself in fear; the True Ruler of this earth came down from heaven to save me from the pit that you kicked me into.
I longed for peace & happiness; Christ satisfied me.
He showed me in His word that I have been created in the image of God. I am His masterpiece & I was made for a specific purpose.
I craved love & acceptance; God demonstrated His incredible love for me & how much He desires a relationship with me-- a silly human!
In Isaiah 43 He quiets my fears & comforts my soul as He describes His unending devotion for me. "Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name, you are Mine. You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you!"
The God of the universe loves me! I don't deserve it. I have already failed so much. I can never earn it, but guess what Satan? You can never take it away from me. Never! Because God has made a single promise that is infinitely more powerful than all of you lies combined. I am His, & He is mine.
Romans 8:38-39 says it perfectly, so listen closely. "I am convinced than neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
That includes you Satan. So stop trying to make me feel guilty for all of the mistakes I've already made in my life. Yes, I am a sinner, & I will always be one. But Christ, in His unimaginable mercy, chose to become sin for me & to take my punishment. He declared that it was finished on the cross. And unlike you, He doesn't lie! Just like in Zechariah 3, you stand on the sidelines & accuse me; you try to paralyze me with shame. But the angel of the Lord has graciously taken my embarrassing, filthy garments & replaced them with pure & righteous robes. I am no longer a slave to my fleshly desires because Christ overcame my sin when He rose from the grave. He's beaten you Satan-- you've lost!
Christ's mercies are new every morning. His faithfulness reaches to the skies. I have victory & strength in Him, so you can't control my life anymore. I love my true Prince Charming & He has promised to always be with me. So you can take your money, it means nothing to me. You can have your superficial beauty, my Savior's scars are more beautiful than anything imaginable. You can keep all of your prince charmings, I have my own. His name is Pure and Holy. Emmanuel; God with us. He suffered & died for me while I still hated Him, yet He loved me enough to save me from my sins; to save me from myself. He loved me enough to save me from you! Jesus has stolen my heart, my life is His & His alone. I was meant to live for so much more than the empty pleasures you have offered me. So that is why I write you this letter; my faith is in God. I don't want your lies anymore. Goodbye forever.
Dec 31, 2009
Dec 24, 2009
Dec 20, 2009
Well, my first semester of college is officially over. Kind of hard for me to believe. I had an amazing semester; God has definitely taught me a lot since September. I have also made some amazing friends that I don't know how I ever lived without! It's so nice to be home, but I miss some of my friends already. Like Ashlee & Emilee (they're in the first picture underneath this paragraph =) they are pretty much my honorary sisters. I can talk to them about absolutely anything! They are always encouraging me in my walk with the Lord as well, which is such a blessing! I'm so incredibly thankful that God gave me such amazing friends!
Emilee and Ashlee
Me and Emee
Ashlee and I
Another friendship I was thankful to develop was with an MK from South America named Krystle. She is actually from my home church, but I never really knew her since her family has been out on the field for the past several years. It's so funny, the first time Krystle & I met a couple of years ago, we really didn't like each other. But now we are very good friends! She is an awesome girl & a huge encouragement to me.
This was while we were "studying" for finals. We got a little dramatic after a few hours. Lol!
After the drama, we got a bit slap happy! Haha! ...good times =)
I'm also very thankful for the roommates that God gave me. Both Ashley (middle) & Liz (right) have been a blessing to me in completely different ways. It's so cool, because God knew exactly the right people to room me with, it has been awesome & I am looking forward to spending another semester with them.
"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit." ~1 Peter 3:18